Charles Bronson

Charles Bronson – the quintessential man’s man. A poor man’s Dirty Harry and the only man my father will always stop for when he’s flipping through the channels.

beret

beret – outside of a vest, the most ridiculous thing you could ever put on your body and try to pass off as clothing.

Meat Loaf

Meat Loaf – both a fat singer who peaked in the 70’s and an entrée served in homes, restaurants, and school cafeterias for generations. It’s debatable which has more charisma. It seems as though he "would do anything for love... but [he] won't do that." And by "that" he means: share his hoagie.

Micheal J. Fox

Michael J. Fox – I mentioned some of his most iconic roles, but none of those even come close to the one, the only, Doc Hollywood. Also, the inspiration for 3 Names, the celebrity name game that derives its pleasure from our basic knowledge of celebrity names. The game goes as follows:
Me: Hey, don't you love Mike Fox?
You: Who's Mike Fox?
Me: You know, Mike Fox, the actor.
You: I have no idea who that is.
Me: What? Micheal Fox? How can you not know who that is?
You: No idea. What has this "Mike Fox" been in?
Me: You know, Mike Fox? Alex P. Keaton?
You: Not ringing a bell.
Me: This is shocking. He's a legend! Mike Fox.
You: Who?!
Me: Micheal J. Fox
You: Ohhhh! Michael JAY Fox. Yeah, I loved him in Doc Hollywood.
Me: Yeah, he's not the same without the "LLLL J."

It's a highly entertaining game: insert most any triple name celebrity and let the hilarity ensue. (James Earl Jones, Zachary Ty Brian, Jonathan Taylor Thomas, the other kid from Home Improvement) Feel free to mix in initials and popular nicknames to prolong the game and throw your opponent off.

Orlando Bloom

Orlando Bloom – I really don’t know anything about Orlando Bloom. Is he a celebrity of some sort?

porn

porn – short for “pornography.” The new national pastime.

Hershey squirts

Hershey squirts – another name for diarrhea, but there are too many people who use the term when someone farts. Let's try to have some self-respect, people.

1984

1984 – A sweet Van Halen album, if not for “Hot For Teacher” then for the little kid with wings smoking butts on the cover... or, a book about spying on people... or, the year when they started forcing boys to shower together after gym class.

Come On Eileen

Come On Eileen – the one song in the history of music that makes me throw up.

Cinn-A-Bons

Cinn-A-Bons – I’ve never had them, but I like to think they taste like melted unicorns... which are delicious, by the way.