stress ball

stress ball – rubber ball filled with unknown goop that you squeeze instead of mowing down pedestrians with your Dodge Stratus. If ingested, wait and see what color it turns your shit.

Food Boner

Food Boner - an erection brought on by the sight, smell, taste, or thought of foodstuffs. Pudding gets particularly messy.

Swap Sheet

Swap Sheet – newspaper where you can buy or sell anything from original Ford Pinto hub caps to rebuilt outboard motors. The redneck Wall Street Journal.

Rom Com - what cool people call Romantic Comedies, the much misunderstood film genre. The misunderstanding coming from people who think guys who like them are gay. But what's more gay: getting head from a lady friend during Maid in Manhattan, or giving your bro a back rub during The Fast and the Furious?

Ted Nugent

Ted Nugent – borderline insane redneck rocker whose trademark is wearing a loincloth and riding a fake buffalo during his concerts. If he wasn’t a musician, he’d be hunting you for sport right now.

Tilt-A-Whirl

Tilt-A-Whirl – carnival ride that both tilts and whirls at the same time. If you grease Chet (the ride operator in overalls with no shirt) with a tin of Skoal, he’ll let you ride for free.

Travis Tritt

Travis Tritt – he’s a country singer, but couldn’t you have guessed that just by looking at his name? Someone named Travis Tritt is destined to be one of three things: a rodeo clown, a bouncer, or a country singer.

tube top

tube top – piece of clothing that can either look incredible or atrocious depending on the wearer. Carmen Electra in a tube top, incredible. Oprah in a tube top, atrocious.

Crime and Punishment

Crime and Punishment – a classic novel by Dostoyevsky, also a great name for my balls.

vajungle

vajungle - A particularly unkempt vagina. So unkempt, one might think it's a jungle.