French Tickler

French Tickler - a condom with, like, extra little dicks on it for bonus penetration. I would ask that you now call it a "Freedom Tickler."

Velveeta

Velveeta - cheese food product that I have considered dedicating an entire restaurant to. You can melt it on anything and make it taste good.
Ex: broccoli or pussy

comment

comment - concept that too many people fail to grasp.
Ex: Me - "Hey, look at that cheeseburger!"
Comment - "Awesome!"

Cinderella

Cinderella - the prototype princess, but if the glass slipper only fits on Cinderella's foot, and so perfectly at that, how the hell did it ever fall off in the first place?
See also: these assholes --->

NERF

NERF - foam like substance that I wish my dick was made out of. NERF Dick... in stores now!

J-Lo

J-Lo – pop star, movie star, Jennifer Lopez. Married to the ugliest man in the world, Marc Anthony. She has done more for big round asses than anyone since Sir Mix-A-Lot.

huge honking dump

huge honking dump – what my son leaves for me to take care of about once every week. It actually does honk audibly, and I have to chop it up with a plastic fork to get it down… the toilet.

groupies

groupies – people who obsess over rock stars with the hopes of having sex with them in the locker room of whatever arena they’re playing. I was a Ruben Studdard groupie until he broke my heart.

Ford Ranger

Ford Ranger – truck that people buy to go with their IMAPUSSY license plates. “Sex” Ed Griffiths once made out with a 15 year old girl up against his Ranger in the Denny’s parking lot, much to our pre-Grand Slam amusement.

ecstasy

ecstasy – designer drug that helps people who want to act like douchenozzles but can’t do it without a little help.