Rosie O'Donnell

Rosie O’Donnell – big, fat, morbidly ugly D-list celebrity famous for having sex with women.

Ron Jeremy

Ron Jeremy – big, fat, morbidly ugly D-list celebrity famous for having sex with women.

WrestleMania

WrestleMania – what my weird uncle tried to convince me we were having, shirtless on his futon. Also, the WWE’s (formerly WWF) annual extravaganza of fake wrestling and bad acting.

TGI Friday's

TGI Friday’s – well known family restaurant chain. I once got an Italian sub there and it made me convulse... in a bad way. The chef must have prepared it with his feet.

tar heroin

tar heroin – heroin from Mexico that looks and feels like roofing tar. If you shoot some heroin, you will inevitably end up in Charlie Sheen’s living room… everyone does.

skid-mark

skid-mark – better to leave them in the toilet than in your underwear, although I’ve done both, it’s a fine line between pride and shame. If you skid-mark the toilet, you’re a hardcore macho man; skid-mark your underwear and you’re a disgrace who shits his pants.

Kid 'N Play

Kid ‘N Play – in an era of high top fade haircuts and mustard colored overalls, Kid ‘N Play reigned supreme. The rap and dance duo starred in the three highly successful House Party films, if by “highly successful” you mean “movies I saw four times in the theater.”

Old Spice

Old Spice – replacing showers for men since 1938.

midget tossing

midget tossing – it’s literally, tossing midgets for distance and prizes, and I swear I saw it regularly on television when I was a kid. There are worse things they could be tossing… like horse manure or babies.

Judas

Judas – screwed Jesus over, hardcore. And if the Bible told the whole story, I’m sure he cock-blocked him once or twice too.